Congratulations on the arrival of your new baby! Do you have another baby at home, who may not be feeling the same excitement? I'll share with you a few ideas that will hopefully help make the new arrival a happy occasion for the whole family.
It's natural for siblings to express to express their fears. Their world as they have always known it is going to change. Many times they will exhibit some sign of regression. But with your love and attention, hopefully you can keep the regression down to a minimum.
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Talk to your child about what's going to happen, how their environment is going to change, and what they can expect. It's very important not to mislead them and to tell them the truth. Let them know that even though things are changing, that your love for them will never change.
When you are talking about the baby, and their role in the baby's life, always reinforce it as their little brother or sister, not Mom's baby.
Make your child feel needed. Let them know you need them now more than ever. They can help in the preparations - from choosing names, to decorating the nursery.
The least you can change your child's routine, the better. If there's any major changes to be made, like moving into a new room - do all of those changes, if possible, before the baby arrives.
Reinforce the role of the sibling. Let them know how important their role is, to you and their new brother or sister. Brag on how much help they will be to you both.
When you bring the baby home, try not to walk in holding the baby. Put the baby in the carrier, stroller, or let someone else carry the baby in.
Let your older child set the pace of how much interaction he wants to have with the new baby, and how quickly. If he wants to hold her, set him in a secure place, and teach him how to hold his newborn brother or sister. Tell him how good of a job he's doing. Of course you have to teach your child safety around his new brother or sister, but do so in a gentle voice, not in a lecture tone.
Remind excited visitors to pay attention to the sibling as well. You don't want him to feel like now that the baby is here, no one cares about him anymore. Not only will that cause your older child to feel unwanted, it could also cause anger toward his new brother/sister.
Whatever you or others do and say, do not compare them to each other. By doing so, you can decrease your child's sense of self-worth and self-esteem, which can cause unfavorable emotions toward himself and his new brother/sister.
Make sure you set aside alone time - where it's just you and him. This would be a great time to read books about being a new brother and having a new baby in the home.
Above all, let him express his emotions, without getting on to him. Let him know it's okay to feel the way he does and help him work through his feelings. If you are concerned and think your child has unhealthy feelings, please talk to a professional. They can give you a lot of advice and different tools to work with to make the transition of another child easier on you and them.
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